~xxSHMEExxZIMxx

Mmkay

So

I convince my mom to take me to Best Buy, cuz at my party yesterday i got two 25 gift cards to Best Buy and I wanted to get Guitar Hero Tour for the DS

So I drove there, and pull into the parking lot. We get out walking up to the store ya know
and theres this lady a couple aisles down and about 10-15 cars back hollerin at nobody in particular,
"GIVE ME MY FUCKING MONEY AND CIGARETTES"

So me and my mom were laughing, "this bitch is crazy."

So we go in and we see my neighbor's son Josh there (he's graduating college next year, i believe), and we converse for a minute or two and get along our own ways

I get my game, we're out of there in less than five minutes.


By that time, the crazy bitch moved up closer, so now shes right by the intersection of the parking lot and screaming at more people. There was a family of about 3 in front of us.
She screamed at them, she screamed at some people in a car, and screamed at me and my mom. By this point we were getting nervous cuz she was seriously crazy, and could actually do something.

So the family of three in front of us had the same idea and they hurried to their car as well.
By sheer coincidence they had parked their car next to ours.

We get in the car, and my mom looks in the rearview mirror and goes "oh no here she comes."

This bitch goes up to the other family and starts banging on the back of the car screaming obscenities, and scratches her car with her lighter fluid. My mom and i were like "...what?!" So we open the window, and the father is in a blind fury, hollerin about how it was vandalizing his car.

So there were Best buy employers out there trying to ask what was going on, and this bitch is going on and on and on, and my mom leans out the car and she asks the father "do you want me to call the police?" and the guy nods, so I call the police and file a report.

She points to me and my mom and go "They're on it too! They both got my money!" to the employers, who were trying not to laugh. Then she says "let me go get my bags"

and we're all like aww shit she's leavin

She comes back with her Aldis bag, which we have no idea what was in, and her duffel bags (what?). She's in a blind fury herself.

BTW she looked about 50 or 60 maybe, and had frizzy blonde hair and was wearing some hippie peace sign shirt. And fat. She was quite the lolcow (literally)

Police arrive in less than two minutes, cuz there were two diff. reports about her. They make her freeze, drop her shit and they handcuff her. She screams

"YOU'RE ARRESTING ME, AND THEY TOOK MY FUCKING MONEY AND GET LET OFF?!"

So my mom and I and this other family were just kinda looking at each other like "what is she talking about?"

So the police ask us all individually our point of the story (they were exactly the same, except they had better detail of the vandalism since we couldn't see as well).

Josh comes up looking kinda confused and he's like "what's going on?"
So i gave a brief explanation.

I think he didn't wanna get too involved so he left.

And this lady in the back of the police car is hollerin and screamin about how she just wants her money and cigarettes, and these two malicious families were conspiring against her.



My mom and i left in tears of laughter.